Newly-wed twenty-somethings often ask me how Doris and I stayed married for 40 years. The answer is simplistic, but pragmatic: respect her and love her. Continually let her know how important she is to you. Saying is one thing – proving is another. Help her with the housework. Balance the scales. This is where most couples fail. Oh, they have vacations, get-aways, and celebrate special occasions – but they don’t make celebrating their life together a LIFESTYLE. They get stuck on what they feel entitled to, but never seriously consider the other is a gift from God. While they may have prayed to find the right person, they don’t stop to consider they themselves must constantly evolve and become the right person for their mate. Thirty years ago, I asked my mentor, Leo Godzich, what the #1 problem was with couples. His one-word answer was SELFISHNESS. Three decades later, his answer is still true. The unwillingness to bend, communicate, apologize, are all indicators of a self-serving individual. Immerse your life in Jesus first – and your mate second. Regardless of how selfish you believe your spouse to be, reciprocation is inevitable. They will see the love of Jesus in you and respond accordingly. When you make Him the head of your home, there’s never a question of who’s the boss. The Holy Spirit is always your best marital Counselor-but He must be consulted often. He’s always right, never makes a mistake, and always have both your best interests at heart.