Same Old Fights?

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly” (Proverbs 15:1,2).

Do you fight the same fight over and over? Have you disagreed more than once with your husband over the same issue? Think about the fights you have. Is there any way to avoid them?

I hate conflict. I’ll go to almost any length to avoid it. But two people can’t agree on absolutely everything. Sometimes, two people can’t even agree on most things!

It helps me to realize it isn’t wrong to disagree, or even to argue, as long as I’m careful not to hurt the other person intentionally. However, it does seem futile to have the same discussions over and over, especially if they lead to fights.

There are ways to prevent the same old arguments from ending the same way. Here are some tips:

1. Understand there are some things you and your partner will never agree on. Maybe it is time to call a truce and agree to disagree.

2. Think ahead to a gentle response. Plan carefully what you will say the next time the subject arises. Give gentle but truthful responses. Say what you planned to say. Don’t let your temper goad you into making an angry reply.

3. Avoid sarcasm.

4. Speak slowly and quietly to avoid thoughtless, sharp remarks.

Kimberly Snider is a missionary to the Philippines.
From “Moments for Moms,” a free email subscription.
Copyright (c) 2005 Women’s Ministries of the Assemblies of God.


Maxim of the Moment

Where there is much love there are few regrets.