An immediate reaction to this question might be, “That wasn’t His mission!” Jesus had no need to be married.
Dying at age 33, the Master would have left a widow and perhaps children too. He made no plans to one day have a wallet full of pictures of grandkids.
So what’s the point in such a question? If we believe that Jesus was the Perfect Man, we must look to Him for characteristics befitting a husband. After all, who alone is our faultless example of manhood?
When we examine the Gospel records, we find that in every case in which Jesus ministered to a female, it was always with the utmost respect and tenderness. When Jesus addressed someone as “Woman”, the Greek term He used is one of endearment and tenderness. Even when speaking to His own mother, He used this beautiful term, “Woman” (John 2:4). Jesus treated all women with the same respect and courtesy—and He desired to set them free.
Freedom From Fear
A Canaanite woman asked Jesus to cast a demon out of her daughter (Matthew 14:28). Jesus replied, “O, woman, great is thy faith!” This woman of great faith implored Christ to “have mercy on me and help me!” …and He did just that.
Freedom From Sorrow
Jesus asked Mary Magdalene (John 20:15), “Woman, why do you weep?” Jesus Christ doesn’t want to see women hurt. How do you feel when your wife is hurting?
Freedom From Sickness
Jesus said to a handicapped lady (Luke 13:12), “Woman, thou art loosed from your illness.” How do you react toward your wife when she is “under the weather”?
Freedom From Accusation
Jesus asked the woman caught in adultery (John 8:10), “Woman, where are your accusers?” Can we assume Jesus desires fair treatment for all women? What have you accused your spouse of lately?
Freedom to Trust
To the woman at the well Jesus said, “Woman, believe Me….”(John 4:21). The Lord asks women to believe in Him. Do you feel comfortable asking your wife to believe in you?
So…what kind of husband would Jesus have made? Would He have opened a door for a member of the “weaker” sex? Would He have shared “sexist” jokes with His disciples? Would he have involved Himself in the physical, mental, emotional or spiritual abuse of women? Since Jesus is the perfect model of what a man should be, let’s examine the official record to understand how he dealt with the ladies.
His Own Mother
Mom is always a man’s first concept of womanhood. When Jesus was twelve years old, his parents found Him teaching in the temple. “Your father and I have sought thee, sorrowing,” said Mary. Gently trying to prepare her for that day when He must leave her, He said, “Didn’t you realize that I’d be doing my Father’s business?” Joseph must have been standing there, knowing full well that he was not Jesus’ true father. In another instance (Luke 8:20), Mary and His half-brothers wanted to visit with Him, but could not reach Him because of the crowds. The Lord turned the situation into an object lesson by indicating that His true mother and brothers were those who hear the Word of God and do it. And at the cross, Jesus entrusted the care of His mother to the beloved disciple, John. Tradition tells us that John would not leave Jerusalem until she had died in his arms.
According to Mark 1:31, Jesus “took her by the hand and the fever left her.” Matthew adds that Jesus tenderly “touched her hand and the fever left her.” In what ways have you lifted your wife up lately? The same incident is recorded in all three synoptic gospels. All three verify that, after her healing, she ministered to them. It begs the question, doesn’t it? How can your wife minister to you unless you get her in touch with Jesus?
Even to the young females, Jesus’ manner is consistently loving. To this young maiden who had passed away, Jesus said simply, “Little lamb, arise.” (Luke 8:54) and then requests that something be given her to eat. What a tender picture of provision. In what specific ways have you provided for the needs of your wife and children?
Mary of Bethany
Her sister, Martha, objected as Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and listened (Luke 10:42). With a tone of patient affection, Jesus said, “Martha, Martha, although you are stressed about many things, Mary has chosen that which will not be taken away from her.” One thing is essential—that you allow your wife to sit at the feet of Jesus. Don’t disrupt her quiet time with the Lord: you do the housework.
The Woman at the Well
Of this woman, Jesus makes a simple request: “Give Me a drink” (John 4). The Lord places Himself in a racist and a sexist situation: she was a female Samaritan. In the conversation which follows, Jesus said, “If you knew who I was, you would ask Me for a drink.” How often do you encourage your wife to ask Jesus for his “living water”? While speaking with this woman, Jesus used the word “worship” eight times. Are you leading your wife to worship the Lord Jesus Christ?
The Woman Who Clutched
Yes, “clutched.” The word “touched” is an unfortunate rendering of the original term in this passage. The picture here is that she grabbed His robe in desperation! (Luke 8:45) She had been ill for 12 years…and to her Jesus said, “Daughter, be of good comfort: your faith has made you whole; go in peace.” In what ways do you speak words of peace and comfort to your wife?
No less than 14 times is her name mentioned in the Gospels. In no instance is it ever stated that she was a prostitute or an adulteress, as some have labeled her. We do know that Jesus cast seven devils out of her, that she was present at the cross, that she rose early on Easter Sunday to visit the tomb, and that she was the very first person to see the risen Savior. As she stood outside the tomb (John 20:11), Jesus asked her, “Woman, why do you weep?” What is your reaction to the tears of your wife? Jesus then gives her a task: “Go tell my disciples that I am risen.” Where were these guys anyway? Home watching sports? Channel-surfing? Read Luke 24:11 and see if the disciples believed what she told them!
So…what kind of a husband would Jesus have made? What is evident in every situation when Jesus ministered to women? Respect, love, tenderness, instruction tempered with mercy. Are you ministering to your wife with such attributes? Even in that first century, when women were not highly respected, Jesus always demonstrated tender regard…and He still treats women the same today. Single ladies—isn’t a man like this worth waiting for?
So…what kind of a husband would Jesus have made? We will never know for sure but we are given some principles he exemplified. However, one thing is sure—Jesus died to redeem and uplift all women and all men. This was His unique mission as the Son of God.
We’ve sketched a brief portrait of how the Perfect Man ministered to women. Now that we see His pattern of behavior, what are we challenged to change in our dealing with women in general…and with our wives in particular?