Here are some of the basic elements essential to happy marriages:
1. We don’t try to change each other.
2. We are not bound to do marriage just like our parents did.
3. We walk in tandem. We share power.
4. We can negotiate. We can solve our problems pro-actively.
5. We have fun and enjoy our sexuality together.
6. We innovate. We are not stuck in a rut.
7. We respond favorably to new information concerning how to improve our marriage.
8. We take time to date. We find ways to get away from household concerns for brief periods to totally focus on each other.
Other factors that contribute to a healthy marriage are not hiding skeletons in the closet:
1. Communicate about biological dad or mom of former children you have had.
2. Communicate about previous sex sins, such as incest, pedophilia, etc.
3. Communicate about deaths in the family, including suicides.
4. Communicate about any mental or physical illnesses.
5. Communicate about any spousal abuse or family violence.
6. Communicate about addictions, drugs, gaming, alcohol, etc.
All healthy marriages are based on mutual trust.
Absolutely the most destructive force in any marriage is unfaithfulness.
No other sin so deeply involves another human being.
What are the damaging effects of sexual sin?
2. Loss of respect.
3. Loss of trust
4. Loss of future intimacy
5. Fears concerning STDs and AIDS
6. Fear of being found out
7. Deceptions and lies that evolve from infidelity, including lies, denials, etc.
8. Destruction of one’s intimate walk with Jesus.
Sexual sins are a flagrant violation of God’s laws….and such sins are never casual. When the affair is over, what becomes of the other person? Two lives have now been damaged.
Fidelity is the norm for marriages, not the exception. Once trust has been violated by such sins, the road back is never easy.
Biblical principles that produce happy and healthy marriages:
Biblical role of the husband:
1. Loving – Ephesians 5:25-33
2. Provider/protector – I Timothy 5:8
3. Teacher – Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and 11:18-22
4. Leader – I Peter 3:6
5. Priest – Colossians 3:19
What is the primary shortcoming of husbands? Lack of tenderness and politeness.
Biblical role of the wife:
1. Loving – Titus 2:4-5
2. Supportive – Genesis 2:20; Ephesians 5:33
3. Submissive – Ephesians 5:22
4. Stability and consistency – Proverbs 31
5. Attractiveness – I Corinthians 11:15; I Timothy 2:9
What other things make the Christian home happy?
1. Making one’s home a refuge from the world, instead of bringing
the world into the home through bad behavior and TV.
2. Each partner has a warm relationship with their extended family.
3. Lack of hate and resentment toward ex-wives or husbands
4. Both partners have mutual friends.
5. Neither partner has close, personal friends of the opposite sex.
6. Lack of financial stress.
7. Each partner is quick to forgive the wrongs of the other.
8. Mutual acceptance
9. Seeking to strengthen the other in all areas of life
Seven things that keep a marriage together:
1. Christianity – both husband and wife are born-again
2. Charisma – both husband and wife are Spirit-filled
3. Commitment – both are committed to God and to each other
4. Communication – both are ready and willing to talk things through
5. Cooperation – working in tandem with one another
6. Consistency – steadfastness in all areas
7. Conservation – of finances