You will never find the time to have devotions together: you must make the time. Guard this time together covetously. Jesus said shut your door when you pray, for Christ and His Word deserve your quality time.
The Bible contains all the detailed information you need to make your marriage happy. But couples suffer for lack of information. They don’t read the fine print in the true “marriage contract,” the Word of God.
God manufactured your marriage, but He has put the husband in charge of the maintenance. Many Christian wives are just waiting and hoping their husbands will assume the spiritual authority in the home.
A couple must remember that after they say, “I do,” they must say, “I will.” Your personal sanctification is a vital and intimate aspect of your marriage. You can only grow together as a couple as you grow spiritually as individuals.
Marry whoever you like, but you will soon find you married “someone else,” someone you really need to get to know better. You do not marry a person, you marry a personality. You must take the time to get to know your mate’s personality as well as your own. To not do this is a guarantee that you will grow apart. Allow the Holy Spirit to mold both of your personalities together as you pray and study His Word as a couple.
Most “storybook marriages” are simply fairy tales. Nothing is automatic in marriage. You must work as a team, like a well-oiled machine. If you believe that your marriage was made in heaven, consult heaven about the upkeep. You do that by studying the Bible together.
Most couples never work on the spiritual aspect of their marriage, and it becomes weak due to a lack of spiritual vitamins. “Give honor unto your wife…as heirs together of the grace of life” (I Peter 3:7). The man is not honoring his wife if he is not leading her spiritually. Consider Mary at the feet of Jesus, learning and listening. But someone objected to her priorities. Jesus said that Mary had chosen the “better part, which will not be taken from her.” Husbands, don’t take your “Mary” away from the feet of Jesus. Get down there with her and listen to His voice. “Take my yoke and learn about Me,” Jesus said.
Now, let’s consider some practical steps for Bible study:
First, go to https://nativemarriage.com to the Biblical category of Preaching and Teaching.
Read or print out a copy of “Studying a Bible Text: The Four Primary Steps” and apply these four steps as you study God’s Word together.
How To Study The Bible As A Couple:
1. Make it fun and keep it fun. “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).
2. Discover the key concepts of a passage together and discuss them.
3. Keep the needs of your mate in mind. What are his/her concerns/needs/interests/questions?
4. Lock into this passage as two hearts beating as one.
5. Keep it in context: what concepts are before and after this passage?
6. Determine together how you can apply it to your marital situation/circumstances.
7. Never belittle your spouse’s level of comprehension. Do not say, “Boy, you really need to
learn this!” Remember, there are various types of marital abuse: physical abuse,
emotional abuse and spiritual abuse.
You will find no scriptural example of Jesus abusing anyone in any way.
8. Agree on a time and place where you will study each day.
9. Decide together what method of study you will begin with. Will you study God’s Word
through Bible characters? Topically? Book by Book?
10. Guard and sanctify this time together.
11. Keep your goals clearly in focus.
12. Receive the contributions of the other warmly.
13. Don’t monopolize the conversation. Don’t get “preachy”.
14. Respect the other by respecting his/her opinions.
15. Give your mate your undivided attention. Avoid all distractions.
16. Watch the facial expressions and body language of your sweetheart.
17. Speak the name of your spouse during your study,
including personal, sweet love names.
18. Provide a secure environment in which God’s Word can be shared.
19. Promote and propagate learning and listening skills during this time.
20. Create an atmosphere of openness; give your spouse space.
The Hook, Look, Book and Took
Any Bible passage can be comprehended by using these four steps:
1. Hook: One’s attention is caught through simple observation of the text and the
motivation to probe deeper.
2. Book: This is an evaluation and interpretation of the passage.
3. Look: Meditation on this passage and integration of it into your life.
4. Took: You both accept the application of this text, and personalization results.
1. Cherish your closeness.
2. Give affirmation and support
3. Develop your sense of humor
4. Share spiritual commitment
5. Openly communicate
6. Express honest appreciation
7. Edify your wonderful mate
8. Encourage your sweetheart
9. Comfort one another
10. Always end with shared prayer
Sensitivity is the key to Biblical marital intimacy.
Observe the following acrostic:
S piritual basis of communication
E motional response appreciation
N earness that’s warm and natural
S imilar values held
I ntellectual agreement
T otal absence of defense mechanisms
I novative signs of love
V ery genuine tenderness
I ntimate sharing
T ouching the other person
Y oke of mutual confidence and trust
Tools! You can’t build anything without them!
1. The Study Bible
Get good study Bibles. You can’t make a better purchase, but never buy something just because someone recommended it to you. Shop till you drop. Find the study Bible that is clearest to you. No law says you must both have exactly the same study Bible.
When shopping for a good Bible, ask:
a. Is it printed and bound well?
b. Does it have a good design and is easy to use?
c. Are the footnotes and study-helps clear?
d. Are the cross-references extensive? comprehensive?
e. Does it have a good concordance and Bible Dictionary?
Call Christian Book Distributors for excellent catalogues. However, it is best to be able to examine a number of different study Bibles at a Christian bookstore before buying on-line or through the mail. Get a good Bible Handbook, such as Ungers or Halley’s. A good Bible dictionary/encyclopedia may also be helpful. It is not necessary to have a large amount of books to do a Bible Study. Add additional user-friendly resources as you need them. You will find more information regarding this on this site under “Marital/Bible Studies: Bible Study Resources.”
A simple plan, if you can stick to it, is to read a Bible chapter a day. If you do this, you will read the Bible through in three years. A chapter a day keeps the devil away!
You need to help each other know the road map so you both get to your spiritual destination together. Every couple only has so much strength: reserve some for Bible study together. As you enable each other, you won’t have to rescue each other so much.
Marriage is a classroom situation and the Bible is the only textbook God gave us.
As you study His Word together, you’ll discover:
1. Rules for a happy home
2. How to handle your finances
3. Raising children
4. How to communicate
5. Sexual intimacy
II Peter 1:8 – God, in His Word, has “Given us all things that pertain to life and godliness.”
The family unit was established by God. That is why Satan hates it and doesn’t want you to know what God said. Satan said to Eve, “Has God said?” Adam wasn’t there to guide her and later he succumbed to Satan’s lies also.
You can never lift your mate above the level of your own spirituality, so increase your faith by reading and studying God’s Word together.
There is a lot of secular emphasis on sexual performance…but the eternal question is how you are performing spiritually.
Don’t point your finger at your mate in accusation; take the other person’s hand and read God’s Word together.
You can do nothing for your marriage better than this.
You have led her to the marriage altar—now lead her every day to the altar of God’s Word.